EK AMAR RUBAL KATHA

P.s. All characters in story may be real but the story is entirely fictitious and is not intended to hurt anyone.. thanks @saikat @rubal @vaibhav @shantanu @mittal for being a part of this..

Truth or Lie

Truth or Lie…. The question is just wobbling in my mind for past few months. I have been an “AVID” liar. Thoughout my life I have surpassed every problem or trouble with a lie and the problems caused by that lies also by a lie (of higher degree). Now I really want to walk on the path of truth on which thousands of great men have passed (and most of them got a miserable ending).
You see I am divided in two personas one that is truthful and other that has always been a good liar. They always keep on fighting over this issue.

Truth- Say me, Don’t say lie.

Lie- Why not?

Truth -Because it’s a lie.

lie- (mimicking because it’s a lie)…too conservative thinking...wow that’s a nice reason..

Truth- yes!! Say the truth its good.

lie- I never get this idea why people want truth and invite Mr. Trouble when you can easily lie and escape and for your kind information even GOD KRISHNA said GOOD or BAD is just perception.
Not to forget KRISHNA had girls you can’t even count while SATYAWADI Harish Chandra lost his single wife.

Truth- When you speak truth it makes you fearless and you can stand in front of anyone, dart into their eyes and speak. Truth makes you fearless.

Lie- “Darr sabko lagta hai, Gala sabka sukhta hai par darr ke aage jeet hai.”

Truth- It gives you a sense of pride. People love truthful people. People often forgive just because you said truth.

Lie- looks like you are reading philosophy now a days. BE PRACTICAL. Go late in class and tell professor that you are late because you were with a girl or sleeping and you don’t give a rat’s ass about his lecture. Do you really think that he will give you attendance? Smoke a cigarette go home and tell your parents that you did it and actually enjoyed.

Truth: Excuses..hmph!!

lie- Don’t get me start over excuses. It is nothing but a fancy name for lie which you truthful people have coined. Actually I think these truthful people are the biggest liars. They don’t even have the pinch of honesty in accepting the face that they lied. They are even being untruthful to their soul.

Truth- THERE YOU ARE. UNTRUTHFUL TO SOUL. You accepted it is not nice to say lie (to your soul). Now you have just counterattacked yourself.

lie- oops !!

Truth- yes it is true(which is good) that we all lie at some point or another so it is good to accept to atleast to yourself you do. But always make a note about whom you are lying to. The one who quite understands you will always forgive the blunders you have done and if they can’t they don’t deserve to be in your life. Moreover even if they can’t forgive they will still not stop loving you.
I think that’s why women always want their men to follow this policy-
“STOP LYING TO GIRL YOU ARE LYING WITH”

To be honest yes lying is good when it is spoken for happiness of the people you love.

Lie- Yes speak lie for happiness of people you love. BTW have you heard? “YOU CANT LOVE ANYONE IF YOU CANT LOVE YOURSELF” ;)

TRUTH- you are an asshole.

LIE- LIAR :P

Mere Sapno ki Rani

Next month I am going to be TWENTY. So I thought now the time has come to take my life more seriously and think about my future. Future, hmmmm in 5-6 years from now I have to find someone who will be compatible with me and will satisfy all my needs. Yes needs and I am being calculative about my future girl. It is a myth,”when there is love you need nothing else”. I think it was quoted by some gay and by the way Gays also have needs. So to start with the list…

A cool Delhite or a Small town Girl : I am born in Delhi and raised here. If I will pick a Delhi girl she will be a good companion. She would be more confident, less whiner, good to talk with and I assume she will be more adventurous ;). BUT she could also be the “experienced” one and I would hate it. Yeah she may have flirted with thousands of guys, went out with some other and her past stories may make me feel like acid in my ass. Whereas a Small town Girl will be an easy maintenance and would be more caring BUT she would never understand when I will really need a friend.
To conclude a Delhite will be preferable because I may be a better understanding person in next 5 years and I may also have some past (in future). So I will manage but yes there is another way to have a beautiful low maintenance Small town girl at home and have some good friends outside (not to be confused with extra marital affairs).

A truthful and Understanding girl: The top priority need is that she should understand about the lies I will tell her. She should really understand that we cannot live without lies and there is no person in the world who doesn’t lie, even the girls who say that they never lie are lying while narrating that very statement. Oh common how many Girls tell their parents about their boyfriends?

A Sweet Smile: In looks I have only one requirement that she should have a sweet smile(unless she is hot) and dimples would be preferable. She must not be much taller than me so that my ego doesn’t get hurt and I don’t care about how she smells (I am not literally a Dog).

Now Some brief Mandatory needs.

She Should not like Twilight and Edward Cullen.

She should have at least 3 best friends (who should be less good looking than her so that I can be in my limits).

She should not use Dear in every line.

She should not be overly sweet (then she will look fake).

She should not tag me in her Stupid Facebook post regarding how much she loves me.

She should laugh at my every joke.

She should not be Blonde(mentally).

She Should not be too much intelligent too: She will become hard to handle.

She should have patience to Listen to me.

MATAR CHEELNI AATI HOO :P

She should call her dog a DOG not baby.

She should call me by my name not "my sweetu pumpkin" or "My Baby".

P.S. She should be all the above UNLESS SHE IS HOT.

Some deep and some "Deep" thoughts

1. An eye for an eye, a hand for a hand, a heart for a heart and "so on"... makes the world gay.

2. Once a person challenged barney stinson that you cannot 'do' with a guy and he said, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

3. When we want peace of mind we give somebody our piece of mind- Law of conservation of anger.

4. Never fall in love with a doctor...coz they can literally steal your heart.

5. It never matters what people think of you .. what matters is what you think of yourself ...... that is self respect...
* I always keep these words in mind after an unsuccessful interview.

6. If someone says you FUCK OFF ...u say the worst swear words.... "may u remain virgin throughout Ur life" :angel:

7. Either girls should not wear t shirts with funny quotes or should not give us disgusting looks when we are actually reading them

8. Q How the first surgeon came into existence ??
A- a person read somewhere "beauty is inside" and he took it literally..

9. Someone said make a girl smile and you can make her do anything.....I over tried and made her laugh, and the irony is now she thinks I am a joker.

10. In this world either you can love somebody or have a girlfriend.

11. One thing common about wit and shit....both comes from inside after a lot of processing

12. There is no remedy for love than to love more someone else

13. Wife:- Do you know why and for whom taj mahal was made(expecting a romantic answer)?
Husband:- Some guy made that to announce to all girls that his wife is dead and he is wealthy.

14. When a girl does something dumb or stupid thing ..its ok.....
but when a guy does that believe me he is in love

15. YES I admit I still love you the difference is just that now you are not the only one

16. Behind and beneath every heartless bastard there is a girl.. :-/ ... (though they are different)

17. A joker is the most generous person in this world who even make people laugh on tragedies of his life.

18. Soul gets raped once then it becomes slutty.

19. A perfect love triangle is not possible until and unless one of the involved person is gay.

20. Don’t you just hate it when the person you really like looks amazingly good
because that time you know every fucking eye is watching them.

21. It is much more difficult and satisfying to make someone smile then to make someone laugh.

22. Life can become much more enjoyable when we realize the difference between what we want, what we need and what we deserve.

23. Why in love people say "I" love "YOU".... when actually in love "YOU: comes before "I".

24. Sometimes it is nice to mix your personal and professional life, at least you get to know who will stand with you in any sphere of life.

25. The saddest thing in life is not when everything falls apart
it is when you know everything is going to, and you have to watch it happen helplessly.

I don't like you , BUT i love you

Valentine's day is about to knock on the hearts of people who are in love in irony to this knock off the pockets and hearts of those who are in a not so divine one. I don’t believe in being in a relationship or should better say I can’t but yes I have fallen in love with some women which I would like to share today.

I know this woman for about 13 years but I really talked to her one or two years ago. She is crazy and for over a year she made a false impression on my mind that she is smart. She listens my every pointless theory (in which I myself don't believe). She appreciates them and actually makes me fell into the complete falsification that they are actually good. When I tell somebody else that stuff thinking that it is cool, I make a fool of myself. Whenever I put any problem in front of her she puts all her efforts (unintentionally though) to make it worse and when I tell her that I think I was doing the wrong thing (which she suggested or agreed earlier) she tells me, ” Yes, you are doing wrong I was thinking the same ”. I still tell her my all problems and I don’t know why. She contributes her every bit to make my problems more complicated and make me feel like a dork. BUT I still love her. Sometimes when I call her and she is talking to her boyfriend she disconnects his call and talks to me. She cannot see it but it brings a smile on my face. It makes me feel,” YES friendship is a thing and yes it is much higher than LOVE relationships”. I love it when she does not try to defend her boyfriend and sometimes even contributes when I make fun of him. She sometimes calls me, knowing that we have no topic to talk about and she is going to be bored. She still does the “aur bata” talks... No matter how witty I make any stuff or change the sense of the topic even be hypocritical she actually understands how I feel. I love her for that.

I know this woman since the beginning of my life and I still don’t know her at all. She was bossy and gets angry at every second thing that I do. She used to beat me up a lot when I was a kid. I was a very sweet kid, I used to bring my feelings inside me, out. I blame her to make me a heartless douche bag. We never talk about our friends or our college life and she never shares her experiences with me until they belong to academics. She could have been a real support for me to teach me how to behave with girls but she turned me into an IDIOT. I don’t like her at all. Now she is changed and she comes to my so called “STUDY ROOM” when she needs internet and when I am not around she cleans my room and puts my stuff in almirah , align my books in cupboard and I hate her for that.. She doesn’t know that she makes it more difficult to find stuff. She has a facebook account too and we have a pact that we will not add each other and indulge in eachother’s friend circle but I sometimes pay a visit to her profile, no not for stalking, just to see if someone is bothering her because I know guys are dogs. I have started understanding her a bit now and I have started to love her. She hides my errors and blunders from my parents. Sometimes indirectly she tries to tell me the wrong things I have done. Whenever my mom is not at home she never makes me feel like I am missing something. She even bears all my tantrums.

Last but not the least, this woman, I know since the time I didn’t use to breathe. She is the sweetest person I have ever met. Her TV habits are frustrating as hell and her attempts to make me love green vegetables !! yuk why would somebody do that. It is against human rights. When I was a child I used to dance really very well. She used to show off me to every single guest and sometimes even when we were the guests. I’ll never forgive her for that. But when I am low she sits beside me and she puts her hand on my head and she says nothing, every time I end up with my head on her laps. She asks me if it is about studies and I never reply, I think she knows or atleast have an idea but she never says anything. Instead she says,” your hairs are dry, use oil”. And I say nothing. I personally hate silence and feel awkward in silence but when I come back in my normal crazy mood and think about it I feel like the best moment that can come in my life.

I love you all for loving me “needlessly”..

There are many complements and sweet things about the women I love but I will not mention because some of them will never read this. There are many complaints too but I will not write it too because some of those lovely women will read it ;) :P

Yes, I Watch SAAS BAHU SERIALS

Yeah I have watched the SAAS BAHU SERIALS… why so amazed? Haven’t you? Oh! Then how come you say they are bad? Well the truth is majority of us had watched it at one point or another. It is our sacrifice for our true love i.e. MOTHER… I am a day scholar. I have dinner with my family. So I have watched them. In the beginning they were quite frustrating. I had several fights with my mother. I also decided better to ask my future bride to move in with her television and cable connection and best not to watch them at all. Now as I have to watch them anyway and my protest doesn’t matter to the women I fell in love at the first sight and I have lost any hope to be successful in future. I watch them. But my brain compiles them in pretty funny way. Some of the noticeable points are………..

1: They think that their actors have Rajnikant’s immortality.

2. The whole world is going to hurt the HEROINE of the serial but she is sooo dumb that she will not respond.

3. They want to set an idea in the brains of INDIAN women that the girls who wear minis are “RAHEES BAAP KI BIGDI AULAD”.

4. Alcohol means venom.

5. The HEROINE is always a bit chubby, round face, appears dumb and who drinks a lot of water….. (Weeping causes dehydration).

6. The Vamp is extremely hot, a good face cut, a really attractive women….. (May be they want women to be jealous and Start hating that “BITCH” anyway).

7. I will never get their point of speaking what they think. I mean I never speak what thought is going on in my mind. “Hmmm I should really finish this up because I have to pee…”

8. Even after 20 years the technology remains same :-/.

9. How they reach at the door side whenever someone is talking something of their meaning?....

10. How come they never watch SHITTY SERIALS themselves in their home.

11. Do men at their home have no work… why they keep on talking like women?

12. No matter for how long the women was in home she turns out to be a LAWER if her husband is mistook as a murderer, a DOCTOR if the husband had an accident and no specialist in world practicing for years can cure him, can use a revolver to kill someone that too without facing the recoil jerk.

13. Whenever their HEROINE loses her memory she finds herself in an ASHRAM with some GURU taking care of her…. Why in the world she never meets any sex dealer who unluckily in real life decides the fate of such tragic cases.

ABOVE all these there are dialogues:
- Mera beta MBA karke aaya hai!! – AUNTY!! Did he ever tell you which college?.. I guess it was better than IIM A.....

- Tujh jaisi sundar sushil aur gunwan aur bholi ladki hi meri bahu banegi- Aunty !! if she had so many qualities.. How come she is not commited yet ?

- Rishta vohi sooch nayi? – I could’t get this line…

LAST but not the least

-main tumhare bacchae ki maa banne wali hun.: are you sure… ?
theGIRL: (after putting pressure to her brain): most probably yes it is yours….

Mera Pehla Pehla Pyaar (MP3).... THE LOOP

It was the day when my IITan friend "BACHHU" was home for several days. We planned to go for a movie. We were deciding which movie to watch. Mittal, (one of my friend who is as thin as a sumo wrestler) jumped up and decided it would be "KMABAKHT ISHQ". He wanted to see awesome comedy of Akshay kumar. There was a huge weight in Mittal’s suggestion, like him. As all the theatres were full we had to go to that movie.

It was just the starting of movie and it was full of needless kisses and smooches and only that part of the movie could be considered as comedy.

My eyes met her just then. She was a 5'2" slim girl, wearing a pink top. She was laughing like retards. Her hairs were swaying left and right with her motion. In contrast to an average engineer, studying in an good engineering (by that I mean bad girl to boy ratio), I was never a desperate fella who fall in love with every second girl they see.

There we had a rendezvous in her eyes. She probably glanced me staring at her. She stopped laughing and smiled. I dont know whether it was due to that "interesting" movie or were my pure feelings that I didnt watch movie anymore. When Mittal and Bachhu were enjoying the "comedy" between akshay and kareena. I was watching her eyes. She had the innocence of a child. I had some snacks in the intermission. After sometime my heart started pumping fast. My stomach started lurching. I looked at her that feeling increased. It was like someone is pinching me from inside, like a thunderbolt struck me. My mind went blank and my eyes were fixed on her as if I was searching her for ages.

She looked at me and smiled again. It was the end of movie and most probably the last smooch to laugh on. I was gathering every piece of my courage and decided to ask her name and email id as I was told every real life story starts the same way.

Just then from nowhere came a muscular arm which cuddled her and my all dreams were shuddered by that view. I didnt approach her as it might jeopardize her relationship. I wanted to see her happy so I stood back. May be that is called sacrifice. Suddenly I had a burp and all that weird feelings were gone. There was nothing now that was pinching me from inside. May be that was not love. It was stupid snacks which were making me feel like that. I watched her going with that muscular brat and had last glimpse of her.
I was lost in her thoughts and the story that how I lost my first "love at first sight". We went to pizza hut and found a table.

My eyes met her just then. She was 5'4" slim girl, wearing black top. She was laughing like retards. Her hairs were swaying left and right with her motion. In contrast to average engineer, studying in an good engineering (by that I mean bad girl to boy ratio), I was never a desperate fella who fall in love with every second girl they see. There we had a rendezvous in her eyes………….