If Cricketers were Politicians

In these modern times every group or Organisation has its own politics. As one wise man once quoted,"Politics is everywhere. It’s in your shirt, it’s in your pants. It’s everywhere.". Sometimes I wonder What if our cricketers were full time politicians what role will they play. Below is my list with the reasons.

Sachin Tendulkar & Atal Bihari Vajpayee

The One Man Army, Once the whole Team/Party used to depend on the man.
This is the man who everybody respects, be it Teammates/Partymen, opposition or Mango people.

Saurav Ganguly & L K Advani

He was a bit aggressive and ambitious. He Played a key role in the team with the other senior. Together they made team/party stronger to such extent that it was considered one of the strongest teams/party in the world/country.
He was always hungry for win and wanted more control but later with new leadership lost all this charm, finally gave up and retired.

Mahendra Singh Dhoni & Narendra Modi

Calm, composed and tactical. Steered the team/party though most amazing wins. He has both great lovers and haters. He has been in many controversies but he somehow manages to get wins for the team/party. He knows what to speak when. Everybody is interested in his personal life but he somehow manages to keep it private.

Mohammad Azahruddin & Lalu Prasad Yadav

He was a great leader once but his thirst for excessive money made him indulge in Scams. He started appearing more in courts than in field/parliament.

Yuvraj Singh and Shiela Dixit

He/She ruled Cricket/Politics for quite a long time. There was a time when he/she was considered one of the best players/leader in the team/party. But one thing led to another and he/she somehow vanished from the scene. But he/she still plays and is involved with cricket/politics. May be if team/party declined he/she will be brought back in team/party.

Virat Kohli & Arvind Kejriwal

Love him or hate him but you just can’t ignore him. He is always in news. Does something everyday. He just simply doesn't keep calm. A demanding person who is becoming a youth icon. He bagged a lot of success in so less time and at this point he is believed to have really bright future.

Ravindra Jadeja & Rahul Gandhi

Nobody knows what his exact talent is but he is there in the team/party for quite long. He is unintentionally the most funny man in the team/party.

Ashish Nehra & Kiran Bedi

He/She was taken in team/party to provide an edge but seems like he/she did own goal and not just one. Nobody is more scared of him/her than his own team/party mates. He/She has been given more preference for no apparent reason. But he/she besides his/her good intentions Fucked his/her own team/party. Some people say he/she was always playing for the rival team/party.

Rahul Dravid & A P J Abdul Kalam

Highly talented. Loved and respected by all.

Gautam Gambhir & Raj Thakery

He is fire. His anger can burn you. A true example of HOT HEAD. Aggressive leader. He may not be performing well but he can't be ignored.

Please add your views to extend/enhance this list further.

Corporate Giants decide to use Facebook check-ins to verify LTA claims

Increasing number of travel bill frauds has compelled companies to use Facebook and twitter check-ins of their Employees to verify if they had actually traveled in their PTO. This new method was first used by Kamal industries when they found out the bills provided by one of their employee were fake. According to the bills and documents, the employee was supposed to be at Goa and his bill included boat casinos, but the shocking fact was that he had a Facebook check in of Vrindavan temple along with a photograph with his parents. The company’s CEO Mr. Arvind Fenkriwal commented that they do not support such culture and the situation demands a strict action.

Under the new policy imposed by Kamal industries, Employees are required to have a photograph check in of every bill they produce. This resulted in Facebook getting flooded with pictures of Honeymoon suites and skanky Bars.

Congress not so wise president Mr. Rahul Dandhi, in a lunch interview also condemn this particular case. While having his “Maa ke haath ka desi khana” Pizza, he said the people should not be blamed for such sort of act. It is the structure and the framework which is responsible for such kind of frauds. Women empowerment can stop such frauds. If women of Goa were really empowered, an Engineer could never go to Vrindavan. He also supports FART-I, Facebook Accessible Right to Information. He says Employers should know every check in of their Employees, this way woman will be empowered and Secularism could be achieved.

Mr. Arvind Fenkriwal is also indicating if this policy prove to be successful, they will impose same thing in medical bills. In which an Employee has to post a picture while being Admitted/Operated to claim bills for the same. 

Employees in Kamal Industries are wearing Topis these days. They say it is breach in their privacy. As a protest all engineers have stopped commenting their code and they are having only BLACK cigarette.Silent Google Hangouts had also been carried out to show the anger towards higher management. Mr. Jitendra Modi who is opposing the action stated,"This is a bug in our system and this should be rectified...Let's Hit the Bar,Ab ki baar Modi Sarkar".

Typical Bollywood Software Love Story PART-I

This is a story of male software application Leo. He was mature enough with machine learning. He met this female application Ewa while strolling on the internet. He was attracted to her UI. He was so obsessed with her that he couldn’t hibernate at night. He tried gathering data about her and thankfully he found out that they share a friend class module. He requested that module to introduce to Ewa. Soon they exchanged IP addresses and started sending remote procedure calls to each other.

The friend module suggested him not to be superficial,” You know how guys are like they just see a UI and go bonkers over it. If you want a real thing you should get to know her backend”.

They were like made for each other. They share so many variables and external services. They used to wonder why they never met before. Leo started triggering Ewa in the morning with a beautiful interrupt.

They started dating soon, Leo on his first date got Ewa a rare software update. Ewa was dumbstruck,” how did you know I wanted this for a long time” she said. “it’s my job to know what you want”, with a wink smiley he replied. They exchanged their data for so long, they almost got whole software specification of each other. Suddenly Leo stopped saying anything. He looked at her. She was so beautiful, carved with perfection. As if every style sheets she used was built with perfection. He even loved the error dialogs she was popping up. Ewa said,”I talk a lot… don’t I”. Leo smirked, “I can see you talking all day”. Ewa smiled, “that’s not beautiful, beautiful would be when you would stop me popping up my dialogs”. And that happened that first kiss they were longing for.

Soon they decided they want to merge their code. Leo wanted to go deep in Ewa’s call stack and leave his copy constructor but Ewa said no. If they are to produce a child process they have to get community acceptance, otherwise he/she will be of no value. It will be socially boycotted and will go in open source community where it will not be worth any respect. They used a firewall that night.  They decided to talk to their parent processes. But the biggest problem was their family rivalry. Leo’s full name was Leo Microsoft and Ewa was Ewa Apple. They knew it is not going to be easy but Leo’s friend Shantanu Unix said, “with love you can make everything”.

OFFICE TOILETS PART-1

Office toilet is not just a toilet, It is a Place where people of different teams, projects,languages and platforms meet and share their experiences. In geek world you can say that it is a place which is responsible for Unity in Diversity.

I don't have any idea about female toilets, No seriously I have never "accidentally" stepped into it. But for men it is place where you can see most satisfied faces. I think if somebody gets nirvana his expressions will be like this only.

If urinals don't have large separators Men have a rule, They will never pee standing next to a bro having time of his hour or two. For those who do and specially look into eyes of fellow man and smile, you are the biggest creep ever. Don't do it, if you are not giving an invitation. Some men see wall while peeing as if they are lost in all their worries and are about to drain it out. Some other just concentrate on their thing as if they are talking to it"Dude you weren't that good yesterday, Perform better today". There is a guy who always spits while peeing, I think he is not satisfied with his thing or his wife/GF is not, that is the epitome of self Loathing.

Men Bitch Yes they do! especially about their bosses, and they do that in toilets. That's a rookie mistake, never do that! You have no idea who is taking a dump inside. It can be a Kissass or the Almighty himself.

But there are some interesting questions which people ask in toilets,  have compiled a list of what people might think and what they reply:

Q: BHABHI Kaisi hai ?
T: "Fuck you! What makes you think of my wife when you are peeing? you asshole. I will kick you in your balls. I saw you in last company outing, How you were looking at us. You Geek Shakti Kapoor. I know how tharki you are. Saath me ladkiya taadi hai(we used to check out girls together) Teri shaadi hone de BC(you get married SisterFucker),there will be an eye for an eye then."
A: Good Good!.

Q: So How is your build going? (Tester to Developer)
T: AA gya phir! I told this MC yesterday that it will take time. NO DANDA to dena hai. I hope he dies virgin. Build bana ke Mooh me dalunga iske jaldi(I'll make the build and shove it up his mouth).
A: Soon it will be with you buddy! BHABHI Kaisi hai?

Q: Have you seen that show, Game of Thrones?
T: Saala sar uthane ka time nahi hai ! he wants me to see the show. Seems Like this Fucker has no work. All he does is see those god damn shows, Jisme! all you can see is somebody screwing someone else and all he learns from that applies here. Why doesn't he just write the fucking code with comments, if he does I will have enough time to even MAKE that GOT.
A: No yaar! So How is your build going?


To Be Continued.. (need to pee more)


Disclaimer: This Post is not done by the owner of this blog, This account has been hacked by a infosys Employee who is just writing it out for the sake of Bakar, My name is Shaktimaan. This is all fictitious(or may be not).

Geek in a wedding

I am… I am a geek and I am bad at social dealings. I am shy, overweight and awkwardly funny person i.e. a stereotyped geek. If somebody would ask me what I would do for fun if I had all the money in the world, I would say nothing, probably lie in bed and listen to Pink Floyd. I think that would be all to describe me THE GEEK. I am not very fond of weddings and other social functions but I am forced to attend them anyway. So I would like to share my experiences with you.  

I go to weddings for just two things, “candies” for my stomach and eyes. Both these things have a lot of difference. Exploit the real candy as you want i.e. see it, smell it and eat it, BUT eye candies should be cautiously judged to prevent some severe heart attack for two reasons:
1. You don’t know what ‘thing’ she would look like when she puts her makeup down (heart attack by shock). Statistically saying the amount of makeup paint spent by all the girls for a single wedding (if combined) can easily paint my room. Well to conclude sometimes it is good to live in a lie as it is said, “Ignorance is bliss”. (I know after making this point my chances of getting a girlfriend may abate that’s why the identity of geek is kept secret).

2. You do not know by what relation she could become your sister and you will be forced to call her DIDI.

Food is the ultimate fascination for me in these parties, everything else is mostly useless (including face painted girls). I have this strategy to at least cover all the food items before leaving. I start with snacks and have at least one piece of everything, for chaat and main course I always have a company with me so that I can save the space for dessert. For desserts I need no one. I am a sugar freak. Sometimes I think my ideal death would be by diabetes or high cholesterol level.  

I must say it was really hard to go to weddings before I got placed because placement was the second thing people used to ask (after my year). It used to pinch me inside. Now when I am placed I can always throw the JOB card to turn things my way. Anyway, parents will never stop making us meet their friends. “Meet my son GEEK, he is placed in GEEKish company (with pride)”. Then starts the awkward conversation and believe me it is one of the most difficult task to get away from the aunties. They just do not leave you even if you both have nothing to talk about. You just want to say, sorry I am not interested in you but your daughter. The conversation will always start like”oh! GEEK you are so grown up, how are your studies going”

GEEK: Fine aunty (not even having a clue what I am actually studying).

Aunty: Your college is nearby our house but you never drop by..

Geek: sure aunty will come sometime(as if I am really coming).

Aunty: (smile)

Geek: (smiles awkwardly).

Both smile continues.

Geek.(why do not you tell me to move the fuck away).

Uncles and aunties always have this fascination towards my pay package that they start offering marriage proposals. My fellow geeks believe me or not whether you are able to score a chick yourself but you will be a Rockstar in arranged marriages.

There is much more to tell you fellas about me..err.. us.. wait for the next post.

A nighty Interview with SUNNY LEONE

Hello, Sunny!! How are you and did you like India?

Sunny: Hi I am good and I belong to Indian ethnicity so it feels great to be back. In fact all my friends and 'colleagues' like India and they have asked me to bring some ‘books’ so that we can learn and be better at our profession.

How was your experience with people in big boss and other males you met here?

Sunny: Frankly speaking i had heard that I was quite famous among Indian men, but when i got here the scene was completely different. In big boss too every male was asking my name and my profession as if they do not know me.
I think that folks in India are quite decent, conservative and innocent. They do not see the movies i act in.

So sunny why did you choose to ACT in movies?

Well, I would not say It was my parents’ dream to see me as a STAR, as a typical Indian family my daddy wanted me to become a doctor and my mother wanted me to become a teacher. Even i joined a medical college but i never felt passion for it. I saw a Hindi movie 3 idiots. Hero said "WO kaam karo jisme maza aata ho phir kaam kaam nhi khel hoga" and I found one thing i really enjoyed so I pursued higher degree of excellence in it and here i am.

Sunny!! We have heard that you are married already? So your partner never had any problem with you 'working'?
Sunny:- No he has been quite supportive, even everyday sorry every night he helps me in my rehearsals and helps me to enhance my output....

What was the biggest resistance in your career?
Sunny: Well initially I was not able to get EXPOSURE but then I made CONNECTIONS with right people who let me expose my talent.

We have heard that Mr. Bhatt wants to sign you for his new movie.. What is your opinion on that?
Sunny: Frankly speaking I do not like to work in that movie as my agent has told me that there are some inappropriate intimate scenes in the movie, which I am not sure about, as I am a very shy person.

So, Sunny anything you would like to say to our Indian people specially Engineers or geeks who are your biggest fan?
Sunny: Thank you for your support and LOVE, believe me that I will keep LOVING you (virtually) but please  do not engage into piracy, you know people like me put away lots of HARD WORK to make some creative stuff please respect that and buy my movie from my website.

So thanks Sunny for being with us it was nice talking to you…

P.S. this interview is not real and is created for fun so in case SUNNY mam or your lawyers read it, it was my pleasure that you read my blog. Seriously mam!! BIG FAN..

:P

Placement Obsessions

sabun ki shakal mein beta tu to nikla kewal jhaaaaaag Bhaag bhaag dk bose dk bose dk .(ringtone)..

Chaman: Hello! what's up.
Gubal: hello, chaman pahji.How is lifee that (a) side? (pinglish=punjabi+english).
chaman: nothing yaar, was just sleeping.
gubal:(Disappointed) We just had a mock GD about what could be the possible reasons you were not picking up the phone.
Chaman: what was the conclusion?
gubal. nothing yaar, leave it. By the way muttal and saikick are now fighting.
chaman: why?
gubal: because muttal thinks that saikick doesn't let him speak and if he is doing it now, you can imagine how he will be during the placements.
chaman: damn, saikick is such a............ moronic hypocritical and backstabbing person(see ignoring abuses as companies don,t tolerate it). Poor muttal.
gubal: muttal is also not bathed from milk, you don't know the complete story.
chaman: anyways, seniors said that friends sometimes even fight, out of jealousy during this time.... anyways why we are talking in English?
gubal: forgot ? You said it will be beneficial for us.
Chaman: oh haan. err yes yes... btw whats Ajis doing?
gubal: Chilling as always...He is broad(chaud hai uski:P ). He sleeps whole 8 hours and He has just read 1 book for C/C++ 1 for algo and 1 for DS.
Chaman: oh my god! I have heard he has a lot of money already. He will open his business, why become someone's BIT..... slave. I think he knows a lot about it and he can easily crack any non tech. After all he is chair person of the best society. BTW yaar! what was your status in your society.
Gubal: nothing!! i am duped by those sons of ...........mothers. You really don't know what i really did for the society.
I was the one who took the responsibility for shifting chairs.
I was the one who taught the juniors how to lift and place chairs properly.
I was the one who really came out with the idea that we should use folding chairs.
I was the one who planned and distributed chairs in various teams.
Brother! you don't even know, they even burdened me with responsibility of Tables in the third year.
and When i asked a post for CHAIRperson they said i have not done enough.
I don't want to say something behind Ajis's back but he never took those responsibilities. I now feel like all those EFFORTS and EXPERIENCES went in vain... may be there is something more needed to become "CHAIRPERSON".
There were many sh....weet posts that were being created, they offered me infrastructure head, but why should i become something i haven't done? why should I not have what I truly deserve.
chaman: don't worry! there will be always a place for your experiences.
gubal: yes yes!! I think I should start a new society. There will be no way someone would stop me from that Chair Person and being a founder member is more impressive then “chairperson”_|_.
Chaman: Good dude! I knew you were a visionary.. All the best yaar… I gotta go. I have to read my DS book 6th time otherwise I’ll forget. Take care.

P.S. All characters are fictional… :P

EK AMAR RUBAL KATHA

P.s. All characters in story may be real but the story is entirely fictitious and is not intended to hurt anyone.. thanks @saikat @rubal @vaibhav @shantanu @mittal for being a part of this..

Truth or Lie

Truth or Lie…. The question is just wobbling in my mind for past few months. I have been an “AVID” liar. Thoughout my life I have surpassed every problem or trouble with a lie and the problems caused by that lies also by a lie (of higher degree). Now I really want to walk on the path of truth on which thousands of great men have passed (and most of them got a miserable ending).
You see I am divided in two personas one that is truthful and other that has always been a good liar. They always keep on fighting over this issue.

Truth- Say me, Don’t say lie.

Lie- Why not?

Truth -Because it’s a lie.

lie- (mimicking because it’s a lie)…too conservative thinking...wow that’s a nice reason..

Truth- yes!! Say the truth its good.

lie- I never get this idea why people want truth and invite Mr. Trouble when you can easily lie and escape and for your kind information even GOD KRISHNA said GOOD or BAD is just perception.
Not to forget KRISHNA had girls you can’t even count while SATYAWADI Harish Chandra lost his single wife.

Truth- When you speak truth it makes you fearless and you can stand in front of anyone, dart into their eyes and speak. Truth makes you fearless.

Lie- “Darr sabko lagta hai, Gala sabka sukhta hai par darr ke aage jeet hai.”

Truth- It gives you a sense of pride. People love truthful people. People often forgive just because you said truth.

Lie- looks like you are reading philosophy now a days. BE PRACTICAL. Go late in class and tell professor that you are late because you were with a girl or sleeping and you don’t give a rat’s ass about his lecture. Do you really think that he will give you attendance? Smoke a cigarette go home and tell your parents that you did it and actually enjoyed.

Truth: Excuses..hmph!!

lie- Don’t get me start over excuses. It is nothing but a fancy name for lie which you truthful people have coined. Actually I think these truthful people are the biggest liars. They don’t even have the pinch of honesty in accepting the face that they lied. They are even being untruthful to their soul.

Truth- THERE YOU ARE. UNTRUTHFUL TO SOUL. You accepted it is not nice to say lie (to your soul). Now you have just counterattacked yourself.

lie- oops !!

Truth- yes it is true(which is good) that we all lie at some point or another so it is good to accept to atleast to yourself you do. But always make a note about whom you are lying to. The one who quite understands you will always forgive the blunders you have done and if they can’t they don’t deserve to be in your life. Moreover even if they can’t forgive they will still not stop loving you.
I think that’s why women always want their men to follow this policy-
“STOP LYING TO GIRL YOU ARE LYING WITH”

To be honest yes lying is good when it is spoken for happiness of the people you love.

Lie- Yes speak lie for happiness of people you love. BTW have you heard? “YOU CANT LOVE ANYONE IF YOU CANT LOVE YOURSELF” ;)

TRUTH- you are an asshole.

LIE- LIAR :P

Mere Sapno ki Rani

Next month I am going to be TWENTY. So I thought now the time has come to take my life more seriously and think about my future. Future, hmmmm in 5-6 years from now I have to find someone who will be compatible with me and will satisfy all my needs. Yes needs and I am being calculative about my future girl. It is a myth,”when there is love you need nothing else”. I think it was quoted by some gay and by the way Gays also have needs. So to start with the list…

A cool Delhite or a Small town Girl : I am born in Delhi and raised here. If I will pick a Delhi girl she will be a good companion. She would be more confident, less whiner, good to talk with and I assume she will be more adventurous ;). BUT she could also be the “experienced” one and I would hate it. Yeah she may have flirted with thousands of guys, went out with some other and her past stories may make me feel like acid in my ass. Whereas a Small town Girl will be an easy maintenance and would be more caring BUT she would never understand when I will really need a friend.
To conclude a Delhite will be preferable because I may be a better understanding person in next 5 years and I may also have some past (in future). So I will manage but yes there is another way to have a beautiful low maintenance Small town girl at home and have some good friends outside (not to be confused with extra marital affairs).

A truthful and Understanding girl: The top priority need is that she should understand about the lies I will tell her. She should really understand that we cannot live without lies and there is no person in the world who doesn’t lie, even the girls who say that they never lie are lying while narrating that very statement. Oh common how many Girls tell their parents about their boyfriends?

A Sweet Smile: In looks I have only one requirement that she should have a sweet smile(unless she is hot) and dimples would be preferable. She must not be much taller than me so that my ego doesn’t get hurt and I don’t care about how she smells (I am not literally a Dog).

Now Some brief Mandatory needs.

She Should not like Twilight and Edward Cullen.

She should have at least 3 best friends (who should be less good looking than her so that I can be in my limits).

She should not use Dear in every line.

She should not be overly sweet (then she will look fake).

She should not tag me in her Stupid Facebook post regarding how much she loves me.

She should laugh at my every joke.

She should not be Blonde(mentally).

She Should not be too much intelligent too: She will become hard to handle.

She should have patience to Listen to me.

MATAR CHEELNI AATI HOO :P

She should call her dog a DOG not baby.

She should call me by my name not "my sweetu pumpkin" or "My Baby".

P.S. She should be all the above UNLESS SHE IS HOT.

Some deep and some "Deep" thoughts

1. An eye for an eye, a hand for a hand, a heart for a heart and "so on"... makes the world gay.

2. Once a person challenged barney stinson that you cannot 'do' with a guy and he said, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

3. When we want peace of mind we give somebody our piece of mind- Law of conservation of anger.

4. Never fall in love with a doctor...coz they can literally steal your heart.

5. It never matters what people think of you .. what matters is what you think of yourself ...... that is self respect...
* I always keep these words in mind after an unsuccessful interview.

6. If someone says you FUCK OFF ...u say the worst swear words.... "may u remain virgin throughout Ur life" :angel:

7. Either girls should not wear t shirts with funny quotes or should not give us disgusting looks when we are actually reading them

8. Q How the first surgeon came into existence ??
A- a person read somewhere "beauty is inside" and he took it literally..

9. Someone said make a girl smile and you can make her do anything.....I over tried and made her laugh, and the irony is now she thinks I am a joker.

10. In this world either you can love somebody or have a girlfriend.

11. One thing common about wit and shit....both comes from inside after a lot of processing

12. There is no remedy for love than to love more someone else

13. Wife:- Do you know why and for whom taj mahal was made(expecting a romantic answer)?
Husband:- Some guy made that to announce to all girls that his wife is dead and he is wealthy.

14. When a girl does something dumb or stupid thing ..its ok.....
but when a guy does that believe me he is in love

15. YES I admit I still love you the difference is just that now you are not the only one

16. Behind and beneath every heartless bastard there is a girl.. :-/ ... (though they are different)

17. A joker is the most generous person in this world who even make people laugh on tragedies of his life.

18. Soul gets raped once then it becomes slutty.

19. A perfect love triangle is not possible until and unless one of the involved person is gay.

20. Don’t you just hate it when the person you really like looks amazingly good
because that time you know every fucking eye is watching them.

21. It is much more difficult and satisfying to make someone smile then to make someone laugh.

22. Life can become much more enjoyable when we realize the difference between what we want, what we need and what we deserve.

23. Why in love people say "I" love "YOU".... when actually in love "YOU: comes before "I".

24. Sometimes it is nice to mix your personal and professional life, at least you get to know who will stand with you in any sphere of life.

25. The saddest thing in life is not when everything falls apart
it is when you know everything is going to, and you have to watch it happen helplessly.

I don't like you , BUT i love you

Valentine's day is about to knock on the hearts of people who are in love in irony to this knock off the pockets and hearts of those who are in a not so divine one. I don’t believe in being in a relationship or should better say I can’t but yes I have fallen in love with some women which I would like to share today.

I know this woman for about 13 years but I really talked to her one or two years ago. She is crazy and for over a year she made a false impression on my mind that she is smart. She listens my every pointless theory (in which I myself don't believe). She appreciates them and actually makes me fell into the complete falsification that they are actually good. When I tell somebody else that stuff thinking that it is cool, I make a fool of myself. Whenever I put any problem in front of her she puts all her efforts (unintentionally though) to make it worse and when I tell her that I think I was doing the wrong thing (which she suggested or agreed earlier) she tells me, ” Yes, you are doing wrong I was thinking the same ”. I still tell her my all problems and I don’t know why. She contributes her every bit to make my problems more complicated and make me feel like a dork. BUT I still love her. Sometimes when I call her and she is talking to her boyfriend she disconnects his call and talks to me. She cannot see it but it brings a smile on my face. It makes me feel,” YES friendship is a thing and yes it is much higher than LOVE relationships”. I love it when she does not try to defend her boyfriend and sometimes even contributes when I make fun of him. She sometimes calls me, knowing that we have no topic to talk about and she is going to be bored. She still does the “aur bata” talks... No matter how witty I make any stuff or change the sense of the topic even be hypocritical she actually understands how I feel. I love her for that.

I know this woman since the beginning of my life and I still don’t know her at all. She was bossy and gets angry at every second thing that I do. She used to beat me up a lot when I was a kid. I was a very sweet kid, I used to bring my feelings inside me, out. I blame her to make me a heartless douche bag. We never talk about our friends or our college life and she never shares her experiences with me until they belong to academics. She could have been a real support for me to teach me how to behave with girls but she turned me into an IDIOT. I don’t like her at all. Now she is changed and she comes to my so called “STUDY ROOM” when she needs internet and when I am not around she cleans my room and puts my stuff in almirah , align my books in cupboard and I hate her for that.. She doesn’t know that she makes it more difficult to find stuff. She has a facebook account too and we have a pact that we will not add each other and indulge in eachother’s friend circle but I sometimes pay a visit to her profile, no not for stalking, just to see if someone is bothering her because I know guys are dogs. I have started understanding her a bit now and I have started to love her. She hides my errors and blunders from my parents. Sometimes indirectly she tries to tell me the wrong things I have done. Whenever my mom is not at home she never makes me feel like I am missing something. She even bears all my tantrums.

Last but not the least, this woman, I know since the time I didn’t use to breathe. She is the sweetest person I have ever met. Her TV habits are frustrating as hell and her attempts to make me love green vegetables !! yuk why would somebody do that. It is against human rights. When I was a child I used to dance really very well. She used to show off me to every single guest and sometimes even when we were the guests. I’ll never forgive her for that. But when I am low she sits beside me and she puts her hand on my head and she says nothing, every time I end up with my head on her laps. She asks me if it is about studies and I never reply, I think she knows or atleast have an idea but she never says anything. Instead she says,” your hairs are dry, use oil”. And I say nothing. I personally hate silence and feel awkward in silence but when I come back in my normal crazy mood and think about it I feel like the best moment that can come in my life.

I love you all for loving me “needlessly”..

There are many complements and sweet things about the women I love but I will not mention because some of them will never read this. There are many complaints too but I will not write it too because some of those lovely women will read it ;) :P

Yes, I Watch SAAS BAHU SERIALS

Yeah I have watched the SAAS BAHU SERIALS… why so amazed? Haven’t you? Oh! Then how come you say they are bad? Well the truth is majority of us had watched it at one point or another. It is our sacrifice for our true love i.e. MOTHER… I am a day scholar. I have dinner with my family. So I have watched them. In the beginning they were quite frustrating. I had several fights with my mother. I also decided better to ask my future bride to move in with her television and cable connection and best not to watch them at all. Now as I have to watch them anyway and my protest doesn’t matter to the women I fell in love at the first sight and I have lost any hope to be successful in future. I watch them. But my brain compiles them in pretty funny way. Some of the noticeable points are………..

1: They think that their actors have Rajnikant’s immortality.

2. The whole world is going to hurt the HEROINE of the serial but she is sooo dumb that she will not respond.

3. They want to set an idea in the brains of INDIAN women that the girls who wear minis are “RAHEES BAAP KI BIGDI AULAD”.

4. Alcohol means venom.

5. The HEROINE is always a bit chubby, round face, appears dumb and who drinks a lot of water….. (Weeping causes dehydration).

6. The Vamp is extremely hot, a good face cut, a really attractive women….. (May be they want women to be jealous and Start hating that “BITCH” anyway).

7. I will never get their point of speaking what they think. I mean I never speak what thought is going on in my mind. “Hmmm I should really finish this up because I have to pee…”

8. Even after 20 years the technology remains same :-/.

9. How they reach at the door side whenever someone is talking something of their meaning?....

10. How come they never watch SHITTY SERIALS themselves in their home.

11. Do men at their home have no work… why they keep on talking like women?

12. No matter for how long the women was in home she turns out to be a LAWER if her husband is mistook as a murderer, a DOCTOR if the husband had an accident and no specialist in world practicing for years can cure him, can use a revolver to kill someone that too without facing the recoil jerk.

13. Whenever their HEROINE loses her memory she finds herself in an ASHRAM with some GURU taking care of her…. Why in the world she never meets any sex dealer who unluckily in real life decides the fate of such tragic cases.

ABOVE all these there are dialogues:
- Mera beta MBA karke aaya hai!! – AUNTY!! Did he ever tell you which college?.. I guess it was better than IIM A.....

- Tujh jaisi sundar sushil aur gunwan aur bholi ladki hi meri bahu banegi- Aunty !! if she had so many qualities.. How come she is not commited yet ?

- Rishta vohi sooch nayi? – I could’t get this line…

LAST but not the least

-main tumhare bacchae ki maa banne wali hun.: are you sure… ?
theGIRL: (after putting pressure to her brain): most probably yes it is yours….

Mera Pehla Pehla Pyaar (MP3).... THE LOOP

It was the day when my IITan friend "BACHHU" was home for several days. We planned to go for a movie. We were deciding which movie to watch. Mittal, (one of my friend who is as thin as a sumo wrestler) jumped up and decided it would be "KMABAKHT ISHQ". He wanted to see awesome comedy of Akshay kumar. There was a huge weight in Mittal’s suggestion, like him. As all the theatres were full we had to go to that movie.

It was just the starting of movie and it was full of needless kisses and smooches and only that part of the movie could be considered as comedy.

My eyes met her just then. She was a 5'2" slim girl, wearing a pink top. She was laughing like retards. Her hairs were swaying left and right with her motion. In contrast to an average engineer, studying in an good engineering (by that I mean bad girl to boy ratio), I was never a desperate fella who fall in love with every second girl they see.

There we had a rendezvous in her eyes. She probably glanced me staring at her. She stopped laughing and smiled. I dont know whether it was due to that "interesting" movie or were my pure feelings that I didnt watch movie anymore. When Mittal and Bachhu were enjoying the "comedy" between akshay and kareena. I was watching her eyes. She had the innocence of a child. I had some snacks in the intermission. After sometime my heart started pumping fast. My stomach started lurching. I looked at her that feeling increased. It was like someone is pinching me from inside, like a thunderbolt struck me. My mind went blank and my eyes were fixed on her as if I was searching her for ages.

She looked at me and smiled again. It was the end of movie and most probably the last smooch to laugh on. I was gathering every piece of my courage and decided to ask her name and email id as I was told every real life story starts the same way.

Just then from nowhere came a muscular arm which cuddled her and my all dreams were shuddered by that view. I didnt approach her as it might jeopardize her relationship. I wanted to see her happy so I stood back. May be that is called sacrifice. Suddenly I had a burp and all that weird feelings were gone. There was nothing now that was pinching me from inside. May be that was not love. It was stupid snacks which were making me feel like that. I watched her going with that muscular brat and had last glimpse of her.
I was lost in her thoughts and the story that how I lost my first "love at first sight". We went to pizza hut and found a table.

My eyes met her just then. She was 5'4" slim girl, wearing black top. She was laughing like retards. Her hairs were swaying left and right with her motion. In contrast to average engineer, studying in an good engineering (by that I mean bad girl to boy ratio), I was never a desperate fella who fall in love with every second girl they see. There we had a rendezvous in her eyes………….